Breakfast.

I rarely make scrambled eggs because it's a hassle but today it's raining pretty hard and I had nothing else to do.  You need between three and six frying pans, plus one small one. 

Put the coffee on and pour the Passion-fruit/orange/guava juice.  Use real, 100% juice, not frozen.  Just grab the ingredients out of the back yard.

First, put the mushrooms in to bake.  Half-and-half, butter and brie , 375 about 20 minutes, one per person.  Slice a cold (refrigerated cold), baked potato (1 for every two people) and put them in one of the pans to brown in butter – low heat.  I put a couple slices of bacon for each person in as well, what the heck.

Slice the Dutch Crunch bread.  Put it over by the toaster.  Get the plates and silverware ready.   Bust out the coffee cups, pure cane sugar and half-and-half.

Get another pan ready with a tablespoon of butter in it.  You can only do this right if you cook the eggs for one person at a time.

Now the eggs.  This recipe is PER PERSON:  3 large farm fresh eggs (or two duck eggs or one goose, peacock or 1/2 an ostrich egg). If the yolks are not ORANGE, the eggs are not fresh!  Mince a green onion and a cooked slice of bacon. Glassene it in a small pan with butter and toss it in the mixing bowl. Add the eggs, two tablespoons of half-and-half, one pat of butter, 1/2 ounce cut up brie cheese.  Again, this is per person.  

Get a pan ready FOR EACH PERSON with a tablespoon of butter in it.  Melt the butter over the lowest heat. If it gets brown, it's too hot.  Pour it out and start over.  Everything else ought to be almost ready.  Pour in the egg mix.  Stir and chop with a wooden square-tip CONSTANTLY until it becomes moist but not dry.  This is hard to do and most people get in a hurry.  It van take up to ten minutes, but 7 is about right.  Every minute, run and do something else for 15 seconds.  Take out the potatoes and bacon and drain them, take out the mushrooms, start the toast, but KEEP STIRRING!  If anyone walks in the kitchen during these few minutes, they get run over.  What's more important…your dear old grandmother, or perfect eggs?

The eggs will come out fluffy, rich and moist, but not at all runny – because you didn't overcook them and because of the butter and cream.

Yell at everyone to get their coffee and juice; sit down and shut up.

The presentation is on a warm plate, a ring of fried potato slices 1/2″ inside the edge.  Follow the outside line of the potatoes with a run of ketchup all the way around the plate.  Put the eggs in the center.  Put the mushroom in the center of the eggs.  Toss the bacon and toast wherever on the plate.  

Start the second person's eggs.  If you have 4 burners and 8 eyes, you can do two at a time.

Dessert is halved apple or silk bananas, fried in butter (LOW heat), drizzled with either melted Belgian chocolate truffles or pure maple syrup.
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