Ten Catholic priests were killed in a road accident. At the Pearly Gates,
St Peter says ''If any of you are pedophiles, you can f*k off down to Hell.”
Nine of them started to walk away when St Peter called out, ''And take this
deaf bastard with you.''
A local Pakistani won $3 million on the lottery last week. After sharing it
between members of his family, they each walked away with $4.50.
Son said to Dad, ''I'm Gay.''
Dad looks at his other son and said, ''What about you?''
Other son said, ''Me too, Dad.''
Dad said, “F*k me! Doesn't anyone in this family like Pussy?.”
A Pakistani woman was sexually assaulted yesterday.
Police are still trying to find a motive.
The wife came out of the bathroom and said ''I have just shaved
my pussy, and you know what that means, don't you?''
I said ''Yeah, the f*k'n drain is blocked again.''
I was watching my next door neighbor's 14 year old daughter sunbathing from
my bedroom window. The sight got too much for me, and I started knocking
one out. I had just finished and was wiping my knob on the curtains when I
noticed my wife standing in the bedroom door. She had watched me from
start to finish without saying a word.
In the Pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what do you do
if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Answer. Throw in your washing.
We were all having a good laugh about this when this big bastard tapped me
on the shoulder and said ''I don't find that very funny. My brother was epileptic,
and he died in the bath during one of his fits.''
I said ''Sorry, mate. Did he drown?''
“No,” he said, ''he choked on a sock.''